Well, here we are. I have found myself muttering the words “next Friday” a lot lately and I am officially freaking out. Next Friday is when we leave Chicago. When we get into our little VW wagon and road trip down south and leave behind some pretty remarkable people, memories, moments. You see, this whole move to Miami thing has been lingering and lingering and it’s been seemingly more of a future life or a vision than a reality. But last weekend, when I finally starting facing the fact that we are saying goodbye next Friday and when I started going through my house, drawer-by-drawer, picture-by-picture, memory-by-memory, that future life became a reality.
My emotions are still more excitement than sadness, but the sadness is creeping in more and more and it’s tough. Listen, I realize we aren’t going far. It’s a quick plane ride. It’s not forever. It’s the right thing. But, it’s saying goodbye. It’s moving to a city without family or the friends that physically wipe your tears and share in your joy. It’s saying goodbye to a church that has transformed both Rick and I, in and out, top to bottom. It’s saying goodbye to team members and bosses that are more than team members and bosses, they are friends. And leaving our house?! Ugh, that just sucks. I am madly in love with the walls that surround us each day. Like madly in love. The closets and the dinner parties and dining al fresco (typically salmon, asparagus and a crisp glass of New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc) and our insanely amazing and loving neighbors and the gym and Steve (our door man who refers to Rick and me as Mr. and Mrs. Renaissance). Oh and let’s not forget the crown molding and the marble and loft-height ceilings. And so far, my search for homes in Miami is resulting in me physically embracing the place we are in right now and never wanting to let go.
But, I have to let go. It’s happening and there’s no stopping it now, like it or not. (The good news is in my core, I do like it but today, it’s just hard to face it). And as I wrote nearly two months ago in The Next Chapter, it’s right, it’s good, it’s where God has us going and we are in it to win it. In the meantime, you may find me crying tears of sadness leaving all the lovely and beautiful things Chicago and this life have given me.
And Winne the Poo was spot on. I am beyond lucky, beyond blessed to have SO MANY THINGS that make saying goodbye so hard. It always comes back to Winnie the Poo, doesn’t it?! Um, not really…